listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
