walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
