yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
