We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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