I think scott just propositioned me for sex
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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