Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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