this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize