My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
