You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm drive I can fine osifer
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
