She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
