I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
is wine microwaveable?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
