Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
