I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
