I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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