he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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