are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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