you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
