im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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