A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
