I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
