i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
