it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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