it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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