I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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