sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
