when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
