I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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