Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
