she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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