she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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