I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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