great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
