end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
love makes seman taste better
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Never joke about your clitoris.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
