i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
