In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
