I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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