I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
