He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I will pee on everything he values.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
