We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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