with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My pussy is not your playground.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
