i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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