Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
