I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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