you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I understand Curling. That high.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
