I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I supernannyed him into submission
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
