worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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