either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
