its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
