I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
