haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Fuck appropriateness.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
