I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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