I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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