READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
