worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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