I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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