hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Green mimosas i think yes
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
