I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize