so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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