Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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