i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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