im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
