i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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