Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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