I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
