what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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